Insanity Rules!

Well, today just gets more and more odd... First the job interview and now... this...

A little back story first. Himself has been around the block a time or two and has a few ex-girlfriends littering around. One of the ex-girlfriends has been hovering in the background of our relationship for a while, and I have to say, I was none too impressed. Every so often she would text or ring him in trouble with her current bloke or her soon-to-be-ex-git/husband and himself, being the hero, would rush to her aid. Annoying much? I can tell you it pissed me off a time or two. I was in Wales at one point and rang him, not feeling very well, only to find he was with her. I hung up on him. He rang me back and we sorted it out, but I was less than impressed.

Anyway, himself comes home tonight to tell me that she had texted him earlier and he wanted to ring her. Something about her current bloke. I growled a bit, but being the nice person I am, said fine, he could ring her. He did. He ended up back on his computer while talking to her looking something up on the net...

So... I ask what's going on... I ended up talking to her on the phone. She's actually quite nice, surprisingly enough, and we got on rather well.

She's having a few problems with her bloke. Well, he's technically not her bloke. She's the bit on the side (hence me being so suspicious of her to start with) and she just found out that he was booked in with a Prostitute! Don't ask how she found out. Let's just say she's as suspicious as me. So she was rather gutted about the whole affair and wanted to lean on a shoulder. Himself got me involved, so she now has two shoulders, except mine is more devious.

I advised her to get shot of him, which she already intended to do, but she wasn't sure what to do really. I gave her a few tips when she said she was having him over after a series of texts where he apologised, said that he'd cancelled the pro, that he'd come to realise that he loved her... Pass the vomit bags out about now... and that he wanted to try and sort it out. She's going to sit there and listen to him, playing the hurt little woman for all she's worth, acting like she's going to forgive him, how she believes everything he says, then she's going to throw him out... Or that's the plan anyway. I told her to get an envelope and address it to his long-term partner and say she'd written a letter to her telling everything that had happened, just to scare the crap out of him.

Perhaps at this point it might be worth mentioning that he's cheating on his partner with himself's ex, booking a prostitute, and all just after his partner's mum died... by less than a week. Supportive? HA! I personally would love to be a fly on the wall... In fact, I'd love for Himself and I just to drop in (except she's miles away) so I can see what's so special about him that he thinks he can get away with being such a complete jerk.

Anyway, the upshot of the conversations with this girl is that I'm going over to see her, on my own, this weekend for the day, and we are going out Saturday Night for a bit of a laugh. She certainly seems very nice, which shocked the hell out of me enough for me to want to meet her and be looking forward to a night out, comparing notes on himself (yes, he's scared, VERY scared) and generally putting the world to rights. Himself will probably catch up with us after he's finished work and turn up to find us both grinning at him with that Look. It should be an interesting day really...

Am I insane for wanting to meet her? Am I mad because I'm actually finding her quite likable? Am I completely out of my mind for wanting to spend Saturday with her? Quite possibly, but then if I didn't do it, didn't meet her and didn't find out more about her, perhaps she would still be the shadow lurking behind himself's shoulder all the time, the unwanted guest that I'd not taken the time to get to know and just treated with suspicion. Then again, I might just be completely mad...

I'm all excited...

I've got a job interview tomorrow! Shocking huh? I phoned up about a job advertised in the paper and they asked me in for an interview!

Now before you all go getting excitable, it's just maternity cover, and it's just a catering assistant job making up sandwiches, doing salads, helping on the servery, making teas and coffees, but it's a job. It may only be for about 6 months, but it's about 5 minutes away from my front door and pays just under £6 per hour for working 9am till 3pm (with half an hour unpaid for lunch). So, it's not the best paid job in the world, and it's not a long-term career, but it's something that will get me back earning something till I can sort my business out.

I have a couple of other jobs I want to ring up about as well. I tried today but didn't get a reply from either one, so I'll be doing some more phoning tomorrow after I've been down to see this one.

Wish me luck...

Lazy day...

I don't really feel like I've done all that much today. Thinking about it as well, I haven't done very much at all. Two days of activity and today my body has decided it's too damn tired.

I read another book today. Patricia Cornwell's At Risk. I have to say that although I'm a fan of her work, her latest books have left me somewhat disappointed really. I also have a few others to get on with, like Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth, which is a very, very good book and highly reccommended if you want a good read. It's weighty, but that's good if you like meaty stories.

I did manage to do one thing today: Himself and I went to a wee shop in Devizes that sells fish. We really only went for a looksee, but we came away with some new stock for his big tank. When we got home, he fished out the sucking loach and the flying fox from my tank and rehomed them into his big one, then after the new ones were acclimatised, he let them go to. We now have 6 Silver Dollars and 2 male, 4 female Blue Congo Tetras. They're small, but they'll grow. Lots. Especially the Dollars. Call it an investment... OK, Poor joke, but it was needed. Really it was... They will actually grow to about 6 inches in length and are vegetarian versions of the phiranna, and look very much like them too...

I was looking through the local paper as well today. I've decided that I need to get myself a wee part-time job to keep some money coming in while I'm working on setting up my business. I saw a couple that appealed, so I'm going to do some ringing up about things tomorrow. The only qualms I have about it is that I have a terrible sick record, as I was off for a whole year almost with my last job. I shall wait and see. I could just do with some ready cash to help pay for things like material, or even food if it gets that bad, and I'm planning on going a couple of places as well, so I'll need some spending money.

It's half past six in the evening and I feel like going to bed already... Unheard of for me. I may just go get another book and go sit on the sofa for a while, or maybe just lie down on the bed and see if I doze off while reading...

I think I'm getting somewhere...

I'm nearing the bottom of the washing pile and the bedroom is looking tidier. Doing all of this is making me wonder what life really has in store for me, and whether I will be just a housewife with an occasional hobby of making christening gowns on the side or whether I will really have a profitable business venture going on.

I'd like to be able to say I'll make millions, but I'm a realist. I might make enough for a few treats here and there, but we shall wait and see. In the mean time, I need to get on and clear some more space so I can actually get some work done, but it's taking time to do. Possibly because I'm sat here writing this, but then again, there's loads there, and I've been doing it a bit at a time. I've unpacked and sorted through all of my stuff. Now I have to unpack all of his. I'd leave it for him to do, but it would just live in the bags if I did that, with himself doing the "I can't find my..." for the next few months till I got tired of it and unpacked anyway.

I spoke to my neighbour yesterday as well and we are back on the excersises as of Monday. I never did manage to fit into my shorts for Beltring, but it hasn't waned my enthusiasm for getting fitter and slimming down a bit. I may even get my bike from the locker on the station and start cycling again, although that will mean I will have my bike cluttering up the house as well as all the rest of the junk... Perhaps I can persuade himself to go see his parents today and talk about that shed thing he keeps saying he's going to get...

Just as an aside, I keep getting a sense of excitement, anticipation of an event, and I have no idea what it is. I find myself getting all worked up and really looking forward to... what? I don't know, but it's beginnig to bug me. I don't have anything planned other than a trip to Wales at some point, a brief trip to my parents at the end of August and a week in October taking one of my neighbours' children up to mum and dads for a week during her school holidays. None of these are the things that are giving me this sense of anticipation.

Ah well, I shall go do more around the house. Time to go chuck things out...

It's still too hot...

I have so much to do and absolutely no energy to do it... I've decided while sorting through my clean washing that I am going to be ruthless in my wardrobe and drawers again. I have too much stuff and too little space. Very little gets worn to be honest, and although I know I will fit into some of it some day, there's no point having it filling space right now. I will possibly shove some of it into an old suitcase and shove it in the loft in case I do manage to lose a few inches, but for the most part, it's going.

The past fortnight has taught me that I can get by on a bare minimum of stuff. I don't really need a huge amount of things, and having two chest of drawers full as well as the wardrobe is just excessive, especially when it still won't all fit. I may even do the same with my kitchen and slim all that down again as well. I got rid of a load of stuff not that long ago, but I seem to have accumulated again.

We have too much junk in this house. I know I have added to it somewhat with my material collection, which is ever expanding as I find more things that would make nice linings and so on for christening gowns, but once I start sewing I might manage to slim it down somewhat. I do need to find a space I can dedicate to my sewing though, and frankly, with the amount of stuff we have, that's not happening right now. Perhaps a little persuasion in the right direction and himself will get his shed sorted out. That way, some of the junk can move out there instead of cluttering up in here. I won't hold my breath for it though.

First things first: Get all the washing done and clear out the drawers, then clear out the dining room and living room. If we don't use it, don't need it or don't want it, it goes. End of.

Oh, how I would love a minimalist life, but I've inherited my mum's love of stuff and my dad's love of clutter...

It's too hot...

Being a redhead, I do find excessive temperature a total drag. At the moment, I am finding it hard to find a cool spot anywhere in the house or outside, and I have loads of stuff I really should be doing, but just don't have the energy for it. I've done three loads of washing already and probably have about another 6 to do with all the stuff that we dragged back from the show. Because it's muggy too, the washing isn't drying out too fast either, which is a pain frankly.

Himself has been getting his fishtank sorted out. It's been cleaned and the new substrate is in, but even he is running out of energy to keep doing it. He's still thinking about what to stock it with, but we've had a few ideas so far. Losing a whole tank of fish is not fun at all, especially when it comes time to think about replacements for all the characters we lost. I'm sure we will get a new batch of characters though, and on the good side, the water will be clearer. It was fairly full of tanin from the wood and very murky, so fingers crossed it will be better now.

I'm also being very slack about getting my business going. It will be my only source of income, so I really should be getting on with it, but the heat is making me lethargic and I'm puting it off. I feel guilty as hell for sitting here doing this instead of getting on with advertising and making a few gowns, as well as getting pics done of the ones I already have. I will get to it though, once I can find my dining room under all the bags of stuff (mostly washing) that are currently littering it.

I've been invited over to Wales to stay with a friend for a couple of months as well, although I think it will just be weeks instead of months. She makes lace, so I'm planning on using her as a supplier for my business, which she seems happy about. I think the working holiday will do me some good, as I won't have too many excuses about not working, plus it gives her some company as she lives on her own at the moment. We get on really well, so a couple of weeks with her should be a good laugh. I may even get to drive some of her toys too... I already drove her jeep, but she also has a few big trucks that I'd love to get behind the wheel of... We shall see. I have a special gown to make in memory of our friend who passed away, so I shall probably be doing a big design for that one as soon as I see the material my mum has for me. I may pop up to Scotland for a few days to see the parents and pick up some stuff, then work on the design from there. It would be nice to see them again in any case.

Oh, for the record, here is my card...



If you want one of my gowns, drop me a line... I have some ready-made, and one to be made for a very good friend (you know who you are) which I will be doing as soon as the kitchen table can be found again. I'll get round to getting some pics done of the gowns I have and I'll get them on here at some point as well, so you can have a mooch through what I do for fun, and now to try and make a living (once I get my arse into gear).

Back From The Wars Part II

OK, the storm last night was a doozy, and there was another at 5 this morning. It was too hot to sleep, so I went and sat out the back and watched the lightning for a bit. Anyway, on with the holiday report.

I managed to get to drive a couple of vehicles while I was at the show. This might not sound too strange to most of you, but I've not passed my driving test as yet. It was dead exciting to get to drive a Jeep and then I got to drive a landrover as well! On my own! Shocking stuff really, but I managed fine, even though one was a left-hand drive, and the other was right-hand. I'm now determined to pass my test this year. I just have to work out the funds to do it, but I'm sure I will be fine.

Most nights we had a few drinks and a laugh as well, and it was always warm in the evenings, so sitting out was fine. The only downside was the mozzies that were vicious. I had on bug repellant and long trousers and I found one biting me through them! I squished it.

Oh, I almost forgot the laugh we had on the setup of the field. We were puting out the bins around the field, big oil drums that we loaded onto a trailer upside down, then as we were towed round the site we had to drop them off at bin points. Now, I don't know if you've already worked this one out, but an upside down oil drum makes a brilliant percussion instrument. We had our own band on the back of the trailer, and one of the girls found some scaffolding clamps and was using them as a triangle. The only problem was that the band got a bit quieter when we had nearly finished, but we had to pick up more bins, so it was fine after that. We probably annoyed a couple of early campers with our antics, but hell, they're early, so they can live with it... heh.

I also forgot another downer on the holiday: The fish. We had a neighbour looking after the fish and he came in one day to find our big tank all cloudy, over heated and all the fish dead. Not good. That's another job to do this week- clean out the tank and get a new filter and heater for it, since we think both packed up.

I'm slowly working through the washing now. There's a lot to do: Two weeks worth of everything, changing every day because it was so hot. It's still hot, so I think I will retreat to somewhere cooler for a bit.

More to come on the holiday stories...

Back from the Wars!

Well, I'm back home. The holiday was good, although there were a few ups and downs in there. I'll do the down sides first, then bore you to tears with my excited ramblings about stuff. Lots of STUFF!

Down sides:

Some people pissed me off. Nothing new really, and it always happens, but I got over it pretty fast. Too many other things doing.

Injuries. Yup, I lived up to my accident-prone life. I currently am recovering from the following:

While puting an eyelet into very heavy canvas, I managed to miss the eyelet die with the hammer and hit my left index finger instead. I peeled it from halfway between the nail base and the knuckle up the side of the nail to the top of my finger and split the nail at the same time. I sat and looked at it and said "Well that's not very good, is it?" It's healed nicely so far, so it's not been too much of an inconvenience.

I was dog-sitting for my friend. I will at this point say that Timba (Full name Timba Fluffikins Wolfie- Don't ask. She's not my dog) is a German Shepherd/3rd generation Timberwolf cross, but has the most adorable temperament. She is, however, a complete "Wendy" (Thank you Kate for that expression. I love it) and runs for Mummy if anything goes amiss or makes a loud noise. Big dog + scared of loud noises left me with a friction burn blister on my right index finger as she pulled the lead through at a vast rate of knots, and the drag pulled my seat over, digging the arm upright into my thigh and skinning my elbow on the ground. The bruise is approx 6 or 7 inches in diameter, round, and currently purple round the edges with a fetching puss-yellow coloured interior. It hurts, just in case you wanted to laugh more at my misfortune. I sit down and the first thing I say is "Ow".

I also became the main course for any Mosquitoes in the area. I don't usually get bitten, and other people do, but this year, they made up for it with a vengeance. The total count of bites is as follows: 14 bites over my back, 5 on my hands and arms, 7 on my right leg and 23 on my left leg. I ended up going to the chemist and getting antihistamines and bite cream (didn't work) then went to the on-site medics who said to take antihistamines and use bite cream, then when I told them I'd already done all that, gave me steroids. They worked till another few mozzies decided to have a go. When we got back, I went to the local minor injuries unit because my left knee was swollen and painful with two large blisters on it from bites. They were happy that I'd done all the right things, but gave me antibiotics and more steroids to stop the itch and kill off the low-grade infection I picked up from being the Mozzie Main Course. Some of the bites were accompanied by big red welts, bigger than my hand could cover and very hot, but fortunately these seem to be receeding. The blisters were popped in hospital and I just have to keep them clean and dressed now, and I have to remember to take my tablets. For the record, soluable steroids taste disgusting.

The other down bit of the holiday was finding out that one of my friends passed away. He was a lovely man, and my parents' best friend. He will be missed sorely. He was the one that gave me the final push to get on with my christening gowns, and there will be one made in his memory.

I suppose I should get to some of the nice bits really.

Well, what can I say? It was hot. Damn Hot. A little too hot sometimes, but we got around that with plant sprays filled with water and regular damping-down sessions. We all hugged the shade and drank plenty of water, so no dehydration cases on our patch. A lot of laughs were had with the various people we have met over the years who were back again, and we made one or two new ones as well. The evenings were a scream frankly. We all sat around with a few drinks and chatted till we all got tired then one by one drifted off to bed. With the heat though, it was hard to have a lie-in. I was up most mornings by half seven, and on a few occasions at half six. Only twice was I in bed later than about one in the morning and once was because I was having a laugh with the lads on a very quiet but warm evening and the second time was accompanying one of our lads to hospital to get checked out after a nasty fall. He's fine for the record, although a bit stiff.

I did my stints up on the gate, yelling at people to slow down, mind the traffic lights or turn on their headlights after 9pm. We also chatted and laughed with some of the people stopped at the lights, or others who wandered through on their way to and fro. The best laugh was Floozy, a big Diamond T (I think... don't beat me if I got it wrong) towing a huge great gun. The guys who brought her were brilliant, and so much fun. Top blokes.

The off-road course was a bit quiet with not many punters out playing. That was probably more to do with the heat than anything else, as it was absolutely scorchio. The quietness was ablessing in disguise at one point though, because the company that run tank tides round the course managed to wedge their 432 (Big tracked APC) in a hole. Our boys did their best, but in the end, we had the REME to give us a hand getting the 432 out. It eventually got towed off the course about 5 hours after it went in the hole, filled with water, threw a track off inwards and got covered in mud. I'm glad I'm not the one fixing it!

I did loads of cooking, which was fun. We abandoned breakfast in favour of brunch and had a regular guest in our mate Tony, who has loads of stories from when he was younger and frequenting the local jazz clubs. Dinner was always late because of the heat, and the regular staple of custard was on the menu more than once for pudding, although mars bars and rice pudding made an appearance on one occasion.

Anyway, there's a storm brewing, and it sounds like a biggie, so I shall continue tomorrow just in case...

From Bad To Worse...

Well, what a week it's been. First I find out that I could have been fit and well enough to work months ago, and now it's time to go away, it's not going well at all.

I've been trying to wash and pack everything we will need for a fortnight. Note that I am doing the packing, so if he complains that he doesn't have something, I'm just going to tell him he should have packed his own stuff. Anyway, if he doesn't have enough clothes with all that I've packed, I will probably hit him. We didn't actually know when we were supposed to be going, because it all depended on when we could get the vehicles transported down. They go down on a low loader, because at 8 miles per gallon, one working fuel tank and dodgy brakes, it's easier and cheaper, not to mention safer to get a haulage company to do it.

So... the plan was to go down possibly tonight after the vehicles got picked up because they might have been delivered at the crack of dawn in the morning. The company then said delivery Monday, so we planned on going tomorrow or Sunday, depending on how we felt. The company then phoned to say that the vehicles wouldn't be getting picked up till Monday morning because of some problem with their lorry. This means himself has to be here Monday to load the Pig (that's the actual name of the vehicle, honest, you can look it up under "Humber Pig") and the trailer on the low-loader and then go down faster than it, so he can park the car up and go back to get it off the lorry unless it will bring the thing down into our field.

I should explain at this point that the site is huge. Here's a picture.

The main entrance is bottom middle, off the pic, and we are camped top right... Our camp (marked) consists of a 20 foot by 30 foot dining shelter/kitchen and a couple of 14 foot ridge tents, so you get an idea of scale. In that pic, there is also an articulated lorry parked behind our tents, but it's a bit too small to see properly. Between Americas Field, Big Monktons and the Reenactors field, there's up to three and a half to four thousand vehicles from all over the world.

Anyway... On with the story...

So, we are going to have to sort out when we go down now, and that has been further complicated. Himself went out earlier for something and was back in fifve minutes. "Do you want the bad news?" he asked... I didn't want to, but I did anyway. "The radiator on the car has blown up."

Knickers.

He had to search round the garages in town to see if there was one could get a new radiator overnighted in. Yes. One could. "How long would it take for you to fit it?" he asked. "Tuesday or Wednesday" said the girl. He's picking it up at half eight tomorrow morning and fitting it himself. Currently he is out under the car trying to take out the old one. I would help him with it, but he doesn't like me helping. He gets all stressy if I even stand in the wrong place, so consequently I am back here despite offering my services.

Ah well, I don't tknow when we are going now, but I'm damn sure we are going. Let's hope this is not an omen of what's to come over the next fortnight...

Good News But I'm Annoyed.

Well, I've been to see the specialist. That was yesterday's fun and games. All the way to Portsmouth to get poked, prodded, told to stand here, walk there, do this, try that, wear these goggles while my head was shaken, do something else...

He says thre's nothing wrong with me. I feel like a total fraud now. Don't get me wrong: It's good news, but I'm annoyed.

Why could someone not have told me that sooner? Why could no one else have explained to me that yes, I did have the problem to start with, and it may have been something to do with the surgery, but it was temporary? Why could no one else have told me that I needed to be doing things, using my balance, sorting it out instead of giving in to it to the point where my head decided that it still had no balance, because I wasn't using it enough, because I felt I had no balance?

The specialist explained that even your balance can atrophy if you don't use it, just like muscles if you've been laid up for a while and not using them. I have excersises to do and the walking stick is banned. I shall be a fully fit, normal person again, but I'm too annoyed to be happy about this fact just yet.

I've lost my job, I've lost a year of my life and I've lost patience with the NHS. I plan to do something about it and my Dad has volunteered to help me. The campaign of action starts when I get back from my holidays, because by then I should have a couple of things I'm requesting from people to help with the argument.

I'm not letting this one go. I'm distinctly unamused.

Dreams vs Reality.

I spent most of today drifting between sleep and wakefulness. I eventually went to bed somewhere round half seven this morning and was woken as usual by the delights of the people who live just up the road yelling obscenities at their children on the way to school. I dozed off again to be wakened again, same neighbour, same volume, same obscenities, younger children. They have six of them in all ranging from ten down to just coming up two. Three are still too young for school and gleefully spend the day out the front screaming and yelling, laughing and, obvious with small children, screaming blue murded when they fall over.

I dozed off again to be wakened up by father yelling obscenities at the youngest of school age as she decided to ignore him (as usual) as he brought her home from nursery. She does as she pleases, he yells at her without doing anything other than yelling to make her understand what "wrong" means. She gets told "no" and does what she pleases anyway. Nothing gets done about it, so she's well aware that she can get away with just about anything, and all her father will do is yell a bit, swear a lot and generally drive me insane. I'm not sure what the mum does, but I know for a fact that he does very little and someone has to be doing all the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, tidying and running around after six children while he stands out the front drinking, smoking and swearing at his kids in a very loud voice.

Anyway, that's par for the course every day these days, so it was nothing unusual for me to hear the delightful things he yells at his kids. The unusual thing today was my dream...

I don't usually remember dreams. The ones I do remember tend to be my nightmares, the ones that usually wake me up after an hour or two of sleep and leave me panicked. My dream today has left me feeling very frustrated and empty, even though it was a lovely dream... Sort of...

In my dream, I'd gone into hospital with stomach pains, only to be informed when I was in there that I was actually about to give birth. For some reason, it wasn't a big surprise to me. It was only when they told me that my pregnant belly showed, and I could feel the baby in there, where I'd not noticed anything before. The labour wasn't really progressing, so I went for a wander and met himself in town (don't ask why I was suddenly in town. It's a dream, OK?) so he got to hear the news. He was delighted, and had to listen to my belly to hear the baby, grinning like a maniac the whole time and really excited. After that, I was back in the hospital, actually having the baby, with himself holding my hand and doing the whole "don't forget to breathe" bit, and cutting the cord of our daughter while I panicked that we had no baby things, like babygrows, nappies, no cot for the baby, nothing. The only thing I could say for certain I had was a christening gown, but that wasn't going to be much use at that exact moment...

I woke up to another verbal tirade from the father up the road as the other children got hom from school. I felt very empty, and I am currently feeling rather broody. I'm getting thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice to have a baby?" and then remind myself that it would be a very bad idea right now, coupled with the whole "you can't have any" thing, and the fact that himself isn't very child-minded. He doesn't want any, and rationally, I agree with him, because we couldn't afford one, I couldn't look after one in my current state and it would take a lot for me to actually conceive, if I did at all, and there would be a whole lot of heartbreak if the procedure failed.

It doesn't stop me thinking how nice it would be to have one of my own. I'll snap out of it soon enough I'm sure. Other people's children are nice, because you can give them back, or listen to them screaming outside the front of the house and getting sworn at for 10 hours a day...

Sleepless Nights and Future Plans.

I should be sleeping. I tried it earlier and failed miserably. I went to bed and lay there for a while... Too hot and sticky, so I kicked the duvet off. Still too hot and sticky. I tried relaxing and thinking about my holiday, but ended up trying to work out how my camp kitchen is going to be arranged this year, how the whole camp will be laid out, wondering if the cam net was big enough to go over all the canvas... I was on the verge of fidgeting, but I thought better of it and got up again.

So, here I sit, wondering why on earth I'm still awake at four in the morning. It's becoming a regular thing and I can't seem to get out of it. I've tried the whole 'get two hours nap time in and stay awake for the rest of the day, then go to bed at a sensible hour', but I still find myself wide awake, trying to doze off and eventually just getting up and doing something else till it's four or five in the morning again.

It wasn't always like this. I used to get a good eight hours, guaranteed, every night, but now I find that I have the time to have lots of sleep, I don't get enough. I'll get a couple of hours, wake up, nod off again, wake up an hour later, nap for another hour and so on till I decide that enough is enough and get out of bed again for another day of doing very little at a very slow pace.

Once I get back from holiday though, I'm going to have to sort my days out. I will be working for myself and I'll have to be more sensible about my time, setting out a work timetable to an extent, planning my days, working out how long it will take to make Christening Gowns, how much time I will have to do housework in between, what time I will have for other pursuits as well and trying to be a little more disciplined about things.

I do worry that my business venture will be a flop. I also worry that it will be too successful and I won't be able to cope. I think the latter will be easier to cope with, because if I'm really pressed, I can always stop taking orders, or extend the lead time on gowns to make it more manageable. If the worst comes to the worst, I'm sure I could find someone willing to lend a hand with things.

I just created my new e-mail address for my business, and amended my business card so it has the details on it. All I have to do now is work out what I'm going to put on my advertising flyer, and maybe get the digicam to work so I can take pics of the three complete gowns I have sat around here already to add to something so people can see what I do. It's all go here... really...

I promise I'm going to be good about getting this done. I'm not always good about doing things, but this has to be one of the few things I've been very positive about for quite some time. I still have worries, like whether my work will be up to scratch, whether people will actually buy my gowns, whether I will be able to expand into the little lady dresses I have in mind for the toddlers, for weddings and maybe older sisters at christenings where one of my gowns is being used, or not as the case may be. Te one thing I will say is that Christening gowns can be fabulous creations or elegant simplicity, and much of it is down to my being able to sew the things that come into my head when I'm thinking up designs.

I have new techniques to try out while I'm working on things, so I can expand my design range a bit, but I'm sure there's nothing too difficult out there for me to be able to do. I just have to apply myself, and this is one project that I really want to do, so I'm sure I shall.

Perhaps my days won't be quite so much the same in the near future. We shall wait and see. Perhaps I'll try that sleep thing again now...

I'm really not having a good week...

My shoulder hurts... My neck does too. I was told it would take a couple of days for it to settle down, but it's still bothering me and it's 5 days later. I'm sure my body takes longer to sort itself out just to annoy me...

Anyway, that wasn't the drama of the last couple of days. That slot was taken by his fishtank.

It's worth pointing out that his tank is five feet in length, two feet tall, and a foot and a half wide. For those that don't do imperial measurements, please look it up. I don't do metric too well. It sits on a cabinet that's designed to hold the weight of it, and keep all the gubbins in, while still looking fairly stylish in a kind of oak-look finish.

Anyway, his pump was making funny noises and blowing bubbles into the fish tank. It sits in a cupboard underneath, as it is a nifty external filter, which means you don't have to stick your hands in the tank to sort it out. I phoned him to tell him about it. He said not to worry and he'd look at it when he got home from work. I thought no more about it, and came up here with my babysitter (yes, I need one because I've not been too mobile after my little drama on Sunday) to do some work on some posters for the vehicle show.

We got all creative and didn't give the fishtank another thought. Silly us.

By the time we'd done all the bits we had to do and got back down the stairs, we had definitely forgotten about the fishtank making silly noises and sat on the sofa to have a cup of tea that the babysitter had made. She then noticed that the carpet was wet...

You guessed it... The filter had decided to leak. Onto the floor. One inch of water out the tank, and it was all over my floor. One inch depth from a very large tank, probably equivalent to about 12 gallons, on my carpet. Not even nice clean water either. It's very fishy, slightly brackish water. It was also in the cupboard, with the electrics for the pump sitting in a small puddle. I unplugged it from the mains and decided I didn't want to touch that plug for a while. So I was left with a puddle in the cupboard, and water leeching out across the floor in an ever expanding puddle as the carpet soaked it all up. I had no way of getting the carpet dry either.

Himself, ever the hero, went and bought me a Vax today. You can shampoo carpets with it, or, as in this case, clear up very large quantities of water off a carpet that has been fistanked to death. He did some of the work, and I did some too, although he was more energetic about it than I was. I kept stopping for a break when it was getting too much, but one thing I have a little luxury of is time. The only problem is that I can't move the tank, so the carpet underneath... well, I don't hold out much hope for it, but I have no intention of moving the fishtank just yet, so I'm going to quietly ignore it unless it starts going nasty.

Tomorrow I am going to shampoo the carpet, because my lounge currently smells like the inside of a soggy, overused, smelly running shoe. How delightful.

OK, that's two things this week. What's going to be number three? Anyone want to put a bet on anything here?