Bloody people...

My next door neighbour's son was beating his girlfriend up yet again tonight. I phoned the police.

Ho hum... It's gone quiet again, so that's fine by me. Last time the little bastard egged my house for being rightly annoyed at him beating up his bird, so I'm waiting for more eggs tonight. Maybe I should put up a net on the washing line and really piss him off... Heh... Now there's an idea...

Ah well, just a quicky tonight as I don't have long before I get the laptop whisked away from me again... I still have costumes to make too, and I am really beginning to despair of getting the flippin velvet to stay in the right place to stitch it together. It's a nightmare...

Right, that's your lot for today. More news as and when I have it, and can steal the Bear's laptop to post it...

Snails move faster...

... Than my divorce. I'm still married to Himself, and not really enjoying it, since no bugger can spell my name unless I use my maiden name for stuff. It's really quite annoying that I have to wait to be divorced before I can go back to my maiden name and get rid of his officially, unless I do a change of name thing that will cost me money I don't have.

Sad to say, I still think about him a lot, and sometimes I get really morose when I realise just how little I really meant to him. I've not seen or heard from him since October, since he decided not to reply to any text messages. It's sad to look back over my marriage and see how foolish I was to think that I might mean something in his life rather than just being part of the furniture that did the housework when I could be bothered. I stopped bothering when I realised that I was working a 39 hour week to his average 36 hours, and I was the one expected to do all the housework on my days off, since his days off were "rest days" when he did naff all (same as all the other ones really).

I do wonder why he bothered to say that he cared about me, that he still loved me, why he bothered to kiss and hug me in the back garden of the house when I went to pick things up, unless of course it was his mercenary way of getting me to be nice and not make any financial claims on him. I've seen his "care and concern" in the last months with him not bothering to contact me, despite being told he could if he wanted (The text, sent a couple of days after yet another he didn't reply to read: "I take it you're too busy for a chat as usual. Will go back to speaking via the solicitor. Am seeing him soon so you may hear something about that at some point from yours. Want to get all this sorted and the settlement out the way sooner rather than later. You know how to contact me if you want, but I'm too skint to keep talking to myself via text or being the one to phone and being told you're too busy etc. Bye. M") That was on the 5th November last year following a text on the 3rd that didn't get replied to, and previously only contacting him via text on the 15th September and a call on the 11th October, so I wasn't really harrassing him. You'll note that all texts and calls start from me, and I really am too skint to keep phoning and texting him and getting nothing in reply. He knows how to contact me if he wants, but not a thing has been heard either from him or his solicitor.

Now, there's another thing: A letter went out to his solicitor on the 5th December with a couple of requests and an offer for them to read the particulars of my divorce petition if they wanted before it was submitted to the courts. Not a thing has been heard from them on any of the contents of the letter. You can bet that he knows about the letter, but is ignoring it, the same as he does all the rest of his mail. It's over a year since all this started, so he's probably lost interest, just the same as he lost interest in the marriage after a few months.

I'm losing interest as well: I'm losing the interest I had in being amicable and trying to be reasonable about things, taking his thoughts and feelings into account with most of the things I've done in the way of solicitors and stuff. Well, to be honest, now I really can't be bothered playing nice person, since he's not even interested enough in how I am to be bothered texting to see if I'm ok. I'm not, as it happens, and I still see a shrink and consider stupid things in the dark hours I spend on my own. I'm not going for sympathy, just telling it like it is.

The sooner I get over that man, the better it will be for me, however for some pathetic reason or another, it's proving difficult. I just hope that any future partner of my continuing, unwanted husband is forewarned about his violence, because frankly, I don't want anyone else to have to go through the hell that my life has been, and still is. I've had to put up with this for years, and even have to put up with the nightmares and fears when I've been away from him for over a year. Imagine what that would do to someone who doesn't have a shrink less than 5 minutes from their house and a decent network of friends who have been a great support to me.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, my cat is fine following a bout of the cold that neccessitated him having antibiotics, and the hamsters are just the same as usual. The Bear is currently sleeping while I steal time on his mobile internet and I'm about to look for somewhere cheaper to live, since I really can't afford this place any longer.

Ho hum... Fingers crossed that something positive happens... You never know, himself might climb down off his high and mighty perch to talk to me, but I wouldn't hold your breath for that. The only person he really cares about is himself. He describes himself as caring, considerate, chatty and everything else if you look him up on the net (some dating site memberships predate my leaving him despite him claiming I was the unfaithful one, even with his permission... Go figure...) and to be honest I found him ignorant, boorish, uncaring, unwilling to discuss anything, perfectly willing to misconstrue anything to make him the little martyr, and frankly, a waste of fresh air. Why then do I still bother, care and love him? Lord the lone knows, and if anyone has a decent reason why, please let me know, either by reply to this or written in pencil on the back of a used ten pound note...

Cheers all, till next time x

Another post. Don't die of shock.

Life just started to suck even more. I am not going to go into too much detail, but I have spent a good portion of my morning on the phone trying to keep a roof over my head.

I don't particularly want to be homeless again. It's not fun. I'm waiting to hear back from a couple of people whether I'll have somewhere to live next month.

Oh well. I'm still alive. I would say "I still have my health" but to be honest, I'm skating round my sanity again, have added stress and pain to the list of ailments I have, and just got over the flu which hung around for 6 weeks. I'll stick with being alive.

By the way Jen, You're a picnic in comparrison. :)

Tempus Fugit...

Or "Time flies" for those who dont do the Latin thing...

Usually it means that time seems to pass swiftly if youre enjoying yourself. Sadly for me it just means that time is passing me by while I sit and twiddle my thumbs in between telephone calls and visits to my solicitor waiting for something to happen.

Fourteen flippin' months already. Fourteen months, countless telephone calls, several trips to the solicitor and still no end in sight. Oh well. I shall twiddle some more and hope to be divorced by the time I'm 50. I won't hold my breath.

Well, I would do a longer post, but frankly I'm just not in the mood right now. I keep writing them at home, but still have no net, so can't post them.

I'm still alive, if that counts for anything.