Sleepless Nights and Future Plans.

I should be sleeping. I tried it earlier and failed miserably. I went to bed and lay there for a while... Too hot and sticky, so I kicked the duvet off. Still too hot and sticky. I tried relaxing and thinking about my holiday, but ended up trying to work out how my camp kitchen is going to be arranged this year, how the whole camp will be laid out, wondering if the cam net was big enough to go over all the canvas... I was on the verge of fidgeting, but I thought better of it and got up again.

So, here I sit, wondering why on earth I'm still awake at four in the morning. It's becoming a regular thing and I can't seem to get out of it. I've tried the whole 'get two hours nap time in and stay awake for the rest of the day, then go to bed at a sensible hour', but I still find myself wide awake, trying to doze off and eventually just getting up and doing something else till it's four or five in the morning again.

It wasn't always like this. I used to get a good eight hours, guaranteed, every night, but now I find that I have the time to have lots of sleep, I don't get enough. I'll get a couple of hours, wake up, nod off again, wake up an hour later, nap for another hour and so on till I decide that enough is enough and get out of bed again for another day of doing very little at a very slow pace.

Once I get back from holiday though, I'm going to have to sort my days out. I will be working for myself and I'll have to be more sensible about my time, setting out a work timetable to an extent, planning my days, working out how long it will take to make Christening Gowns, how much time I will have to do housework in between, what time I will have for other pursuits as well and trying to be a little more disciplined about things.

I do worry that my business venture will be a flop. I also worry that it will be too successful and I won't be able to cope. I think the latter will be easier to cope with, because if I'm really pressed, I can always stop taking orders, or extend the lead time on gowns to make it more manageable. If the worst comes to the worst, I'm sure I could find someone willing to lend a hand with things.

I just created my new e-mail address for my business, and amended my business card so it has the details on it. All I have to do now is work out what I'm going to put on my advertising flyer, and maybe get the digicam to work so I can take pics of the three complete gowns I have sat around here already to add to something so people can see what I do. It's all go here... really...

I promise I'm going to be good about getting this done. I'm not always good about doing things, but this has to be one of the few things I've been very positive about for quite some time. I still have worries, like whether my work will be up to scratch, whether people will actually buy my gowns, whether I will be able to expand into the little lady dresses I have in mind for the toddlers, for weddings and maybe older sisters at christenings where one of my gowns is being used, or not as the case may be. Te one thing I will say is that Christening gowns can be fabulous creations or elegant simplicity, and much of it is down to my being able to sew the things that come into my head when I'm thinking up designs.

I have new techniques to try out while I'm working on things, so I can expand my design range a bit, but I'm sure there's nothing too difficult out there for me to be able to do. I just have to apply myself, and this is one project that I really want to do, so I'm sure I shall.

Perhaps my days won't be quite so much the same in the near future. We shall wait and see. Perhaps I'll try that sleep thing again now...