Packing...

Of the clothing variety, not guns, before any of you funny wrong-side-of-the-ponders get the wrong idea... Amazing isn't it, the way one language has taken on so many different meanings over the years, decades and centuaries?

Remind me to come back to that one...

Anyway, I'm packing for a trip home! I'm heading back to the land of my childhood scrapes, scars, bumps, stings and other various injuries. Back to the country where I grew up believing my knees did not have skin attached, just scabs. I plan to make a nuicance of myself when my dad tries to read the newspaper, as I always did, and to poke about in the garden with mum. She's great. You ask her what a plant is and it's "Oh, that's a... erm... a... yes... it has wee leaves... little purple flowers in summer... grows like a weed.... I got it from... *wherever* when we went there with *insert random friend here*... erm... I'll have to look it up". She can tell you what they look like, what type of soil they like, whether they like sun or shade... Just can't for the life of her remember the name of it.

I think I've got just about everything, although you can guarantee there will be something that I neglect to take with me. As long as it's something I can get on the Island, I'm not that bothered though. I refuse to make lists of things to pack. When I do that, I always pack too much. I usually pack too much anyway, but I've been very frugal with myself this time. I have two pairs of jeans though, only because one might get dirty, and I like my jeans. Four pairs of shoes (work shoes, as I will be wearing them anyway, trainers for skagging about in, spiky boots if I feel like going out in heels and clogs for poking about up the garden with mum), enough undies to last me without washing them, plus one in case of stranding/emergency and 4 t-shirts and 3 nice blouses, in case I have to go anywhere that requires one. Oh, and ONE jumper. I'm only taking the one coat as well, the one I will be wearing. I even remembered to pack a phone charger. Always a good plan, especially if himself and I get down to one of our marathon text sessions again.

He's going to be home alone for a week. He won't know what to do with himself, as he'll have no one cluttering up the house, rattling about in the kitchen, bugging him in the computer room, and, more importantly, no one to steal the duvet from. I don't know how he will cope with the last one... heh.

I was terribly productive over the weekend though... Took up a dress for D at work and made a pair of shool trousers for C. They're a bit big, so I will have to alter them when I get back. On top of that, I still haven't done the corset or cloak, so M will be a bit dis-chuffed if I don't have them done by the weekend I'm over there. I have visions of me doing the last bits of hand sewing on the train on the way...

Right, must press on. Things to do, stuff to pack, things to forget to put in my case. I'll get to the bit about words and meanings when I get back. I'd bring you a stick of rock, but you wouldn't like it. Honest...

Procrastination strikes again...

Yeah, I'm supposed to be doing something else, but hey. I'll get to it later.

Procrastination is a wonderful thing, until it comes to deadlines. I do seem to work better when I have a close deadline, but I should plan ahead more and do things before the last minute. I'll work on that one...

Tonight I'm sat here on my own again while himself is off at work. 12 hour nights. I get custody of the remote for the telly, although that's nothing unusual if I'm being honest. I have nothing planned to watch, which is good, since I'm going to try getting some sewing done.

Being on my own and doing my own things are becoming a bit of a theme for me. It's good in a way, because if I feel like going off to see friends (lunch on Saturday- good example there) I don't really have to worry too much. I've faced the facts that himself is hardly around, what with work and stuff, and even on his weekends off, he has a tendency to have things planned to be doing either here or elsewhere. If he's not doing those things, he can be found on his computer, so I'm pretty much left to my own devices anyway.

The down side of that is that I do sometimes feel rather lonely. Lonely is not the same as alone, because I can be in a crowded room and still feel a bit cut off from what's going on around me. I sit at home sometimes and feel like I'm being excluded from things too, because stuff gets hidden or passed over. Exclusion breeds resentment, and then I get frustrated, and then communication breaks down. It's a bit of a downward spiral that has an explosive end, as has been blogged in the past. These days I can feel when I'm in that spiral, but even though I know I'm here, I can't work out how to get out of it.

Comunication works, but to be honest, it only works so far. It's important as well to have comprehension, empathy and compromise in any dialogue, but there has to be a sense of calm too. If one side is getting stressed, then there's no point in starting a dialogue unless you take a big dose of empathy into account and try to de-stress the situation. Seeing things from the other point of view can be a bit of an eye-opener, as I have learned, and sometimes what people think you mean isn't always what you really said... It all gets a bit complicated after that.

I'm in a weird place right now. I know what I would like, but don't know how to get it. It's a puzzle that needs solving, and I'm sure a solution will present itself in due course. For the time being though, I shall remain preoccupied with stuff and procrastinate about doing things, partly because the preoccupation makes it hard to concentrate fully and partly because I'm good at procrastinating.

Progress...

We finally got round to having a look in the junk room and doing something about it today... I couldn't believe it when I sat and thought about it after we had done as much as was possible in one day...

Four big bags of rubbish are going to the tip this week. Four of them. Plus a couple of boxes filled with more rubbish. There's some stuff being kept, but it seems that the majority of the junk in the junk room was actually just... well, junk really. Empty computer game boxes, dead videos, really old and knackered audio tapes, papers that aren't worth keeping any more... So much accumulation of junk it's unbelievable.

It's still not properly cleared enough for it to be turned into a sewing room. Not by a long way. There's still much that needs done, a few rearrangements to the furniture for a start, so that it's a good place to work. It will get there eventually...

Today was also gloriously sunny, so the weeks wash got done, plus a few bits that turned up in the junk room, like an impressive beer towel collection. I have been set the task of turning the beer towels into a big towel. Shouldn't be too difficult, really. It's a good job I'm good at jigsaw puzzles and maths, so I can work out how all the different sizes will fit together properly. He was thinking of doing it himself, but he's not that good with a needle and thread. Good job I'm a dab hand when it comes to sewing really!

Well, next weekend I have the house all to myself... Well, almost. I might have a friend over next Sunday to catch up on what he's been up to. He used to come over a lot a few years back, but it dropped off a bit as he hit his teens, and now he's all of sixteen and wants to spend Sunday catching up with life, the universe and everything. It'll be good to see him again anyway, and I can tell him off for all the stuff he's been up to as well as laughing at some of his escapades.

I've also arranged a possible lunch meet with a friend on Saturday, which should be a laugh. Another teenager that treats me like his mum, although he's bringing his girlfriend along as well. If either of them calls me "Mum" in the pub, I'll smack him... heh. OK, so I'm technically old enough, but that's not the point!

I also need to start thinking about packing for my holidays. A whole week with the parents, and I'm taking my mate with me. We are going up for the Jazz Festival weekend, as he used to do all the Jazz clubs in London in his younger days. It should be a grand trip out, and I'm even saccrificing the use of the front bedroom for him, since it has gorgeous views out over the sea. I'll be in my sister's old room, since my old room got turned into the parents' junk room just about as soon as I moved out. Do you think they were trying to tell me something?

Anyway, it should be a blast. This is it if anyone wants a sneaky peek:

http://www.butejazz.com/

It will be lovely to be home for a week and I'm sure my mate will love it. I can see him ending up going there on his own to stay with the parents on other occasions and I'm fairly sure they won't mind. He's a wee bit older than them, but they like the same sort of music and stuff, so it should be a laugh sitting chatting with them. We're even going on one of the cruises on the saturday, so that should be lovely. Especially if the weather is nice, like it usually is for the Jazz Festival. I shall report back fully on my return anyway...

Ah well, that's about all for now. I know, not too exciting, but I'm not living a daredevil life. I think I like the peaceful bits.

Life and all that...

Well, just came back from a lovely weekend away in the valleys of Wales staying with a couple of my good friends. We had a laugh, went out for a boogy in one of the local pub/clubs and generally just mooched.

It's good to be home though. I have a hundred and one things still needing done, like some washing and other exciting things like that, but I also now have a project to get done before I head back into the depths of Wales again.

Well, going back to the weekend- what a weekend that was! We were considering going to a Burlesque night at the local Rock club on Saturday, but S was skint, and so was M, so that never happened. It's no biggie though, because there's another one coming up that we are going to be more organised about planning to go to. Last minute things have a habit of falling off the to do list these days, because everyone's skint! It should be a good night, although before we head down to it, I have a corset to take in for M, who is ever-shrinking, as well as a claok to put together for her. Black velvet with a lovely red satin liner. Both materials a pig to work with. Thanks a lot M!!! Remind me to give you cutting and sewing lessons! Tee hee.

So that's the projects between now and the next visit. With the new machine, the cloak is going to be a piece of cake to put together, so that's OK. Making the corset smaller will be more of a challenge, but I know how I'm going to do it, I just have to make sure that the stitching is all secure enough, because corsetry takes a lot of strain. Looks damned good though, so it's all good at the end of the day.

What else...

Well, things with himself are getting back on track. We had a good chat, which was nice, and managed to start solving some of the problems we've been having. A little bit of thinking about what was said, a little weighing up of thoughts before replying to anything, and it seemed to work. We have things to think about and options to consider, but we are talking, and that's a start. Progress is being made, and I have to say I couldn't be more pleased about it. There was one minor hiccup, but there was no shouting or arguing, no tears before bedtime, and a little bit of talking saw it sorted.

I tell you, I couldn't wait to get home and give him a hug, but he's managed to pull his shoulder muscle again and was in a bit of pain. Plus he was just back from the hospital after gashing his finger on a bit of glass. Apparently there was blood everywhere. Wee lamb has a big bandage on his finger now, but he was a brave boy at the hospital and didn't complain. I was disgusted that the nurse didn't give him a lolly and an "I've been brave today" sticker... The NHS is just going down the pan, I tell you. Hee heee

I spent a couple of hours just massaging his shoulder muscle, and it seems to have eased a little, but it will probably need more massage and the Ibuleve Gel (anti-inflamatory cream) probably didn't hurt either... He's off to work now grumbling about long hours and idiots on the roads and I'll see him in the morning in time to make a cuppa, rub some more gel into his shoulder and then get myself off to work while he heads off to fall into bed. Maybe by the time the weekend rolls around again he will be fit enough for that hug!

Well, that's about it for the moment. I'm feeling optimistic about the future and a few things have been ironed out, settled and one or two things that needed to be said by both have been said. No arguments, no screaming or throwing things, a minor disagreement, but that was quickly solved by us agreeing we were both getting stressed and it was better left for the time being. We went and did something else (his shoulder) and had a laugh about other things that happened over the weekend.

It's getting there. Slowly, but it's a start, and long may it continue.

Stuff...

The sailor suit is nearly finished. Which is a good thing. Just buttons to do.

I have a stinky cold and a hacking cough, so I'm sleeping on the sofa so as not to disturb himself when I wake myself up in the middle of the night unable to cough up the tickle in my throat.

The gas boiler finally gave up, which means no hot water and no heating in the house. Don't know how long it will take to get it replaced.

I have nothing else to say. The catharsis of writing in my blog is gone. You can have facts, but not thoughts or feelings. I am allowed neither.