Life got busy.

Well, so much for humdrum... I should really learn to keep quiet.

Last week I was in Wales for a few days visiting friends. I ended up going swimming three times, and taking the dog and the kids for a walk up the mountain. We did about two or three miles. I think the dog did about twenty.

I've also been making new friends round the area through a website and have been out for coffee with some of them as well. It's great meeting new people, and I've definitely been enjoying being in new company. We are going to a party next month, so there will be more people to meet up with there. It's one thing to talk to people on the net, and quite another to meet in person, so it should be interesting finding out what the faces are like that go with the names on the screen.

I was also down seeing my sister a week ago today. Had lunch with her on board the cruise ship and had a tour round again, as she had one of her other friends there as well. She's still looking very relaxed and happy, which I am really pleased about. She comes off the ship next Sunday, so our parents are coming to me on Wednesday and staying till then. I now have the joys of trying to tidy up the house somewhat before they get here. I'm sure I'll manage to get the place looking respectable, or at least more respectable than it looks right now.

After they've gone down to pick up sis, I then have a couple of days to get my life organised again before I head off back to Wales again. My mate is going in for an op, and I have the time to go over to help with the kids while she's recovering. The good thing is that they are at school, so at least we won't have them screaming round the house all day! So Tuesday I go to Wales, Wednesday I have to be in London for a meeting in the evening, and then back to Wales again.

Tuesday this week I have to go see the Doc as well. I'm going to complain about my rubbish body and see if I can trade it in for a new one. I doubt they'll let me, but there's no harm in asking...

Actually I'm going to go and ask for a hysterectomy. I've had enough of sitting around getting moody for weeks while my period brews, then sitting being even more moody when it hits, then being stuck with it for weeks on end. I don't have any use for those bits really. I have no plans for kids, even if I could have them, and all they do is annoy me and leave me feeling washed out because of the hormones and all the rest of it. Apart from that, himself gets the short end of my temper, and it's not good for either of us.

It's something I've been thinking about for a while, although I have a sneaky feeling they will get tetchy about it because of my age. They apparently don't usually give hysterectomies to thirty-something, childless women just in case we change our minds later. I'm not going to change my mind. I already resigned myself to the fact that I can't have kids without some serious help and a slim chance of success, so I'd rather go without than go through all the waiting, hoping and probable disappointment. I just want rid of the mood swings, long periods and washed out feeling, as well as having to take copious amounts of tampons that I go through every time, and having them with me all the time just in case. I never know when they will appear, because the moodiness is always a few days, then when they do appear, they hang round for ages annoying me.

Well, we shall see what they say on Tuesday...

Another note for the diary is himself being poorly. Wee soul came down with food poisoning after a shopping trip to Camden with a friend yesterday. He was feeling so ill, he took today off work and just spent the day in bed. If he's still bad tomorrow, I'm going to strongarm him up to the hospital to get it checked out. He doesn't like being ill. He's terrible when he is, and I know he's really bad if he takes time off work. I've mostly left him in peace though, but kept an eye on him quietly, making sure he's ok.

He also started his own blog today. When I can remember how to link it, I will. He's very profound sometimes...

Anyway, I'm tired. Had a day in London yesterday and a night out last night. Got to bed around half four this morning, and we were back home before eleven this morning... Sleep is going to be a definite option in about ten minutes if I'm lucky.

Humdrum...

Everything is settling into tedium again. I keep applying for jobs, and so far have received no word back from any of them. I keep doing the washing only to find another pile of it accumulates within 24 hours of me thinking I'd done it all. I keep trying to tidy, but every time I clear a space, it gets filled up with more stuff that's being moved, sorted or just dumped for want of a better place to put it at the time. My business is going nowhere because I have no space to put the sewing machine or lay out large pieces of fabric and himself is on nights, which means me tiptoeing around all day trying not to disturb him.

Maybe I'm just tired. Lack of sleep is plaguing me again and I go to bed at nights and take an hour or two to get to sleep. Last night I gave in. At half past four this morning I got up, stripped the bed and threw it all in the laundry and remade it with all clean sheets and stuff. I tidied round the kitchen (again) then sat and had a bowl of cereal before going back to bed somewhere round six this morning. I was awake again about ten, tiptoeing about while himself got some well-deserved rest after a twelve hour night.

I think I'll go grab some supper and try to sleep. Maybe a nice big mug of hot chocolate will do the trick...

Today is not a good day...

My mate sent me some pics from Beltring. Nice pics for the most part, but there's a couple of me on there and frankly, I'm unimpressed. Not with the pics: the pics are fine. It's me I'm unimpressed at.

We don't have any full-length mirrors in this house, so I'd not seen before the full effect of my weight gain over the last however long, possibly the last year while I've been mostly immobile. It's not really the thing you want to see when you've just woken up, I can tell you that. I was all excited about looking at the pics, and now I'm sat here feeling like I never want to eat again.

I have been doing excersise round at Brian's, but so far it doesn't seem to be doing anything positive. I think I will be redoubling my efforts from now on, and the next plan after that is to find a nightclub I can go to and spend a few hours every week or fortnight dancing as well. That's how I lost a lot of weight last time. I was going out with a DJ, so every Friday and Saturday night I was up at the local disco (It really didn't class as a nightclub) dancing for the majority of the 4 hours he was doing his thing. I'd go back and renew my liesure centre membership then spend hours there in the gym and swimming, except I still have no job, so wouldn't be able to pay for it every month. I might ask himself if the direct debit could come out of his account and do that anyway.

I need to do something. I'm really annoyed at myself now for getting to this stage. Time for a healthy eating plan, a mean excersise regime and to make sure I do it all and don't waver, I'm going to print off that horrible picture of me and stick it on the fridge where I will see it every time I go in the kitchen. That should keep me in check if nothing else will.

Night on the tiles...

Well, yesterday was fun. I went out mith himself's ex and we got on very well indeed. We went for a late lunch and had a couple of drinks while winding himself up using the fabulous medium of the text message. I don't think he quite knew what to expect when he turned up...

We did a lot of chatting finding out what each other was like, and talking about himself a fair bit. She's really nice and we got on rather well. I may have been mad to go and see her, but it was definitely worthwhile, as she and I had a great giggle (mostly at himself's expense) and had a good bitch session about her ex-bloke, the "supportive one" who was being a complete toss and sent her a text. She ignored it... I wanted to reply to it, but in the end, it got left...

After we had a very long lunch, we went back to her house and got sorted out, had a cup of tea, then thought about getting ready to go out. I took my corsets with me, so she tried one on and loved it, so she wore that one, and I wore a different one. Walking back into town we got some looks... I'm not really surprised as we were both in black trousers, black corsets, flimsy tops and boots... We went to one of the pubs and started scouting the talent. Let me tell you, there wasn't much of it!

After himself turned up, looking like a bunny in the headlamps as we just stared at him and smiled a bit, we all started chatting. It was a little strange really, as it felt like we'd all known each other for a while, and I was completely at ease. I wasn't sure how I would react once he was there, but it was fine. I wasn't worried at all about the himself and her scenario, and we even walked hand in hand, all three of us, along the road when we moved pubs.

I'm absolutely knackered now though... We didn't get home till half three this morning. I'm going to have to go to bed shortly. My brain is ceasing to function...

It was like a great weight was lifted as well, getting to know her. She is no longer the shadowy figure in the background, and we are arranging another day out together. I'm taking her corset shopping...

Vicious Circles...

Why is it that life has to be so damn complicated? I want to sort the house out and get junk out of the way, some to wherever will take it, some to whomever will buy it and some to the garage that we will be renting. Here's the problem:

To sort the garage out, we need the car empty. To empty the car, I need space to put the junk out the car. To get space to put the junk out the car, I need to get some of the junk into the garage. To get the junk into the garage, we need the car to empty the current junk out of the garage. To empty the garage, we need the car empty... I also need the car empty to get some of the junk in the house to the tip, so there's enough space to put the junk from the car...

I looked into the spare room today (and yesterday) and I have no clue where to start. It's become one of those rooms that you open the door, throw stuff in and shut the door quick again before it all avalanches out again. I don't know exactly when it became that bad, but it is. I have no idea where to start, but at some point I must. There's a few bits and pieces in there that I know can go straight in the charity shop pile (the cat bed that we bought that the three cats just turned their noses up at for instance) but I honestly have no clue what is in there for the most part. It will be a voyage of discovery, although I must remember to wear a safety line and possibly even take a Sherpa with me.

Himself is less than impressed that I want to start gutting the house. He's even less impressed with the thought that I will be getting a Grandfather clock at the end of this month, courtesy of my parents. We apparently haven't got the room for one. If we sorted the junk out, threw a load of rubbish in the bin, parcelled off loads of bits to friends and charity shops, sold some of the more valuable items that we don't want off and generally tidied, rearranged minimally and perhaps got a shed, things might be easier. I even just worked out that if I moved my material crates from the dining room (into the junk room once it's more organised) the clock can happily slot into the vacated space.

I'm rapidly losing the will to do anything though, and that's a bad sign. I have to have this place a bit more organised and functioning as a house rather than a junk repository before my parents get here in about four weeks. I also want to get the junk room turned into my new work room for christening gowns and get on with some of them, because I'm not really any further on than I was when my parents were here last. I promised I was going to do something positive about my business when we got back from Beltring, and that hasn't happened yet. I've been trying to get a job as well (still not heard back from Tuesday's interview) just to tide me over with some money, to keep the finances rolling, because I need to have some money behind me to get into business properly. I have an application form waiting to get filled in downstairs, although it's a full-time job, and I'm not sure I want something full-time again, and another one on it's way for a part time post.

I now have a headache and I'm too hot. Himself is sleeping in this room because apparently the bedroom is too cold. I sleep with the window wide open and just a sheet over me, and still I'm too hot. We had an argument last night because I was planning things, sorting things out in my head before starting on the real mess, and unfortunately himself has a nasty habit of thinking everything I suggest has to be done instantaneously. He can't seem to think of anything more than a couple of days in advance, and as soon as I mention doing anything, he comes up with a load of reasons why he can't do it right now. Too hot, too cold, too tired, too busy... you name it, he's too something. So I can't discuss the changes with him, can't go over the options of what I would like to do, and end up doing it anyway, then get complained at because himself wasn't consulted on the latest moves... So I try to consult with him, and he gets angry because he's too something, so I go ahead on my own, so he gets annoyed because I didn't consult him...

Ho hum... I think it might be bedtime... I might feel less frustrated in the morning, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it if I were you...

Slacking again...

Well, I've lost the tidying impetus. I'm slacking on the housework again. Part of me just doesn't know where to start and what to do with the stuff I start sorting to go out.

I've arranged with the neighbour that we can rent his mum's garage, which will definitely come in very handy. It means all the tentage, canvas, camping stuff and all that malarky can get stored in the garage so it's accessable and things like tables and benches can get worked on, stripped and revarnished, some of the canvas can get the mends done that it needs and so on. It also means that some of the boxes of stuff I fillet out from the house can get stored there too till they can be rehomed. I have a couple of friends who have just moved in together need some kitchen stuff, so they're welcome to the pots and pans and anything else I can get shot of out of my kitchen.

With any luck, he will also move a couple of big workbenches into the garage as well, freeing up the small spare room as well which I may see if I can get as my own work room for doing my christening gowns... In which case, he can leave me a workbench. All his tools will go into the shed when he gets it, since the canvas will now be going in the garage, and I might have some space to work in! Halleluia!

The only problem is that the garage we will be using is currently full of junk. The lads will have to take a few trips to the dump to get rid of it all so there's space for all the stuff that we will be puting in it. I don't know when himself is next off work to be able to get it done either, but I'm sure we can sort something out.

All that has just given me the push to go do something else about tidying and sorting out the war room so that it is in some sort of order before we start shifting stuff to the garage and currently non-existant shed. With any luck in a couple of months, I might have the house somewhat livable, and if I can persuade him that the war room would make an excellent work room for my business, it means all my stuff will then be out of the dining room as well. It just gets better and better really...

Next plan: Get all the contents of my French Box into the dishwasher and cleaned. Once that's all done it can get repacked, and that can go in the garage as well, and the three hob-top ovens I have under the stairs, and that will free up some space under there...

Oooh, I never thought that getting a garage would make me feel so excited about things, but it will mean I can get rid of a load of stuff without having to throw it all away. Bonus!