Same shit, different day
Well, his blog is complaining of me being a stalker, threatening restraining orders etc.
I have not spoken to him, contacted him or made any attempt to get him to contact me since I last spoke to him via text message on the 7th August. My last text was an apology for being too keen and leaving him to contact me if he wants. That was 11 days ago. 10 days before his blog entry. I sent 20 text messages and received 9 in response over a period between the 22nd July and the last message on the 7th August. That's a period of 16 days and several of those texts covered two conversations on two different days. I phoned him on the 22nd July and he ASKED me to call him back because he was busy. I checked by text that he was happy still for me to contact him, as I wondered if I was doing the right thing and whether he wanted to speak to me.
I had the reply text of "I'm free now" so I called him. He had his get-out clause right there at the start. We spoke and things seemed OK as far as I could tell. OK, so I got a bit happy that we could actually speak to one another without biting each other's heads off. I phoned one night when he was just home, and I apologised and text the apology as well, asking if he was free for a chat to contact me. He didn't contact me so I didn't push it.
I tried phoning him the night I overdosed on my temazepam. He was driving to his parents and ASKED me to phone him back at half eight. By then I was unconscious so apologised the next day by text for not phoning. I was told at that point he was looking out for number one, I hadn't overdosed because I was still alive and that he didn't care about what I thought or felt, as he had apparently cared for the last 7 years according to him. I think I missed some of that, as for the last couple of years it seemed like he couldn't care less when he didn't feel like it.
The last phone call was on the 6th August. We spoke for a while, but I felt like he was making he right noises in the right places. I tried getting him to understand how I felt and that to have closure, there's a lot of answers that are missing.
I realised that he wasn't that interested the next day when I thought about the conversation again. I sent a text telling him what I thought and that I would leave contact up to him. He responded that he felt like I had been stalking him, and I apologised and once again left it to him to contact me.
I sent one e-mail in all that time just to explain that I may not be able to phone him again as speaking to him had left me with more confusion than it solved. I was able to speak to him as it happens, and it was a very polite, light-hearted mail, not stalkerish in any way.
I thought that was the end of it, but it's taken him ten days to come back and paint me as a crazed stalker and to play the victim. He's very good at playing the victim.
He's complained about the garage not being emptied and him not being able to put stuff in because I have the key. I was told the garage needed cleared as he had put ALL my stuff in it, and I had to speak to the neighbours to get access to the garage. Now it seems that all my things aren't in the garage and he needs the key to put it in. I didn't want to bother the neighbours every time I wanted in to the garage and have to arrange with them every time I wanted to try getting there. I have to be free with money, the Bear has to be free and the neighbours have to be in. All of those things have to be there for me to get into the garage if I don't have a key. I'm dealing with the neighbours and they told me it was OK for me to have the key.
As for his love life... It's not speculation, it's fact. He's slept with someone else's wife. He's messed with someone else's girlfriend. I wonder what Simon and Jamie would say if they knew what Paul had been up to with their respective other halves. It's pathetic when you put those together with his whiny complaint in the divorce about me saying I wanted to have sex with another man. To be honest sex with ANY man would have been good. Sex with my husband would have been exactly what I wanted, but he OFFERED to let me have an affair. I ASKED him six months after the offer was first made and after it had been discussed again, if an affair with the Bear would be acceptable. He said it would be fine. He SANCTIONED my affair with the Bear. According to Paul, sexually he was "dysfunctional" as a husband, and so I could have a substitute.
He's a liar, a cheat and a vicious bastard. I have no sympathy for him any more. I have my answer: He may have cared once, but I wasn't deviant enough for his twisted tastes that's left at least one woman with bruises following a night in the house with him. He stopped caring years ago and was too much of a coward to say so. He knew I am entitled to a fair chunk of settlement money from the divorce, and perhaps that's why he kept me around for so long, thinking that if I left for another man, he could weasel out of the settlement.
He ASKED ME to drop my financial claims against him for the same consideration on his side.
Sadly I left because he's violent, so the blame is entirely his. He has made his bed, he can lie in it, unless of course he has to sell it to pay the settlement and pay his solicitor.
I have not spoken to him, contacted him or made any attempt to get him to contact me since I last spoke to him via text message on the 7th August. My last text was an apology for being too keen and leaving him to contact me if he wants. That was 11 days ago. 10 days before his blog entry. I sent 20 text messages and received 9 in response over a period between the 22nd July and the last message on the 7th August. That's a period of 16 days and several of those texts covered two conversations on two different days. I phoned him on the 22nd July and he ASKED me to call him back because he was busy. I checked by text that he was happy still for me to contact him, as I wondered if I was doing the right thing and whether he wanted to speak to me.
I had the reply text of "I'm free now" so I called him. He had his get-out clause right there at the start. We spoke and things seemed OK as far as I could tell. OK, so I got a bit happy that we could actually speak to one another without biting each other's heads off. I phoned one night when he was just home, and I apologised and text the apology as well, asking if he was free for a chat to contact me. He didn't contact me so I didn't push it.
I tried phoning him the night I overdosed on my temazepam. He was driving to his parents and ASKED me to phone him back at half eight. By then I was unconscious so apologised the next day by text for not phoning. I was told at that point he was looking out for number one, I hadn't overdosed because I was still alive and that he didn't care about what I thought or felt, as he had apparently cared for the last 7 years according to him. I think I missed some of that, as for the last couple of years it seemed like he couldn't care less when he didn't feel like it.
The last phone call was on the 6th August. We spoke for a while, but I felt like he was making he right noises in the right places. I tried getting him to understand how I felt and that to have closure, there's a lot of answers that are missing.
I realised that he wasn't that interested the next day when I thought about the conversation again. I sent a text telling him what I thought and that I would leave contact up to him. He responded that he felt like I had been stalking him, and I apologised and once again left it to him to contact me.
I sent one e-mail in all that time just to explain that I may not be able to phone him again as speaking to him had left me with more confusion than it solved. I was able to speak to him as it happens, and it was a very polite, light-hearted mail, not stalkerish in any way.
I thought that was the end of it, but it's taken him ten days to come back and paint me as a crazed stalker and to play the victim. He's very good at playing the victim.
He's complained about the garage not being emptied and him not being able to put stuff in because I have the key. I was told the garage needed cleared as he had put ALL my stuff in it, and I had to speak to the neighbours to get access to the garage. Now it seems that all my things aren't in the garage and he needs the key to put it in. I didn't want to bother the neighbours every time I wanted in to the garage and have to arrange with them every time I wanted to try getting there. I have to be free with money, the Bear has to be free and the neighbours have to be in. All of those things have to be there for me to get into the garage if I don't have a key. I'm dealing with the neighbours and they told me it was OK for me to have the key.
As for his love life... It's not speculation, it's fact. He's slept with someone else's wife. He's messed with someone else's girlfriend. I wonder what Simon and Jamie would say if they knew what Paul had been up to with their respective other halves. It's pathetic when you put those together with his whiny complaint in the divorce about me saying I wanted to have sex with another man. To be honest sex with ANY man would have been good. Sex with my husband would have been exactly what I wanted, but he OFFERED to let me have an affair. I ASKED him six months after the offer was first made and after it had been discussed again, if an affair with the Bear would be acceptable. He said it would be fine. He SANCTIONED my affair with the Bear. According to Paul, sexually he was "dysfunctional" as a husband, and so I could have a substitute.
He's a liar, a cheat and a vicious bastard. I have no sympathy for him any more. I have my answer: He may have cared once, but I wasn't deviant enough for his twisted tastes that's left at least one woman with bruises following a night in the house with him. He stopped caring years ago and was too much of a coward to say so. He knew I am entitled to a fair chunk of settlement money from the divorce, and perhaps that's why he kept me around for so long, thinking that if I left for another man, he could weasel out of the settlement.
He ASKED ME to drop my financial claims against him for the same consideration on his side.
Sadly I left because he's violent, so the blame is entirely his. He has made his bed, he can lie in it, unless of course he has to sell it to pay the settlement and pay his solicitor.
posted by Me at 2:18 pm
3 Comments:
He's a disgusting human being, plain and simple.
He's just making that claim because it is convenient, and he has this need to try and prove that he isn't as horrible as he really is. He has also been reading your blog and jumped on your belief that you may have been a bit too forward with the contact. You used the word first, and he is now appropriating it in a way to make you feel as though he is justified in using it.
It's standard for his behaviour, he is using the same mental abuse on you post-separation that he used when you were both still living together. You provide the context and he jumps all over whatever guilt you have already confessed to, regardless of what he actually believes. He *is* looking out for number one. Always has.
He's a charlatan, pure and simple. And he isn't very good at it, truth be told.
Want to know something odd? He also reads my blog. Fucking creepy, that is.
PS. Still writing massive letter. I think I'll need to rent a shipping container to send it if I keep going.
Well I made my sentiments clear not only on his blog but my own which you can read at
http://nagini1642.livejournal.com/
He has chosen to keep our conversation to us... I however have decided it needed airing! bitchy? most certainly! Nasty?, indubitably! Honest and true to my friend and not about to stand there while his spouts a pile of shite? Damn straight!
Love you loads babe! always here for you!
Mand xxxxxxx
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