Jumbled thoughts
I can't settle enough to finish the dress I've been making, so I thought I'd come here and blog, just to gt rid of someof the clutter in my mind. It always seems to sort my head out when I write, so here goes...
It's been a lousy week really. It had its moments, but they passed swiftly and were overwhelmed by other things. Monday was interesting, because I went out with a friend S and his dog. We took a wander down by the river, then S, in his infinite wisdom, decided we were going to the beach, so off we went in his Landrover. We got most of the way there when his gears decided they weren't working. Fortunately there was a spot to pull into, which we did, and then had to strip out the top of a gearbox. Fun when I look back on it, but it was a warm, sunny day and we didn't have anything to eat or drink with us. We got it mostly put back together again, then decided to take the dog for another hike round the forrest park we were stopped on the edge of. After we got back from that, we finished puting the car back together, went for a very nice dinner, and by the time I got home, it was gone ten at night. Himself was predictably asleep by the time I got in the door. He's been on earlies this week, so in bed at a sensible hour most nights.
Tuesday I went to work. Wasn't feeling too great and by the time I got home, I was feeling decidedly icky, so no dancing for me. I spent the evening on the sofa watching nothing much really. Wednesday was OK, although still not feeling too great. Got home from work and did a fitting of the dress, which (shock, horror) fitted just fine. No alterations needed, so I could just sew the skirt straight onto the bodice, which I did. By the time that was done, I still wasn't feeling too great and the next job would have been puting the zip in. I decided to leave that till another time. Thursday was OK, although still feeling grotty. Went dancing, but didn't really make too much of an effort to get up and dance much in the freestyle bit. Got home and felt very tired, so went almost straight to bed. Unheard of for me really.
Yesterday I dragged myself out of bed feeling like hell. I got ready for work, thought about breakfast, considered the possibility of throwing it up again and decided to pass. Was on the brink of leaving for work when I decided it would be a very bad idea, and went and lay on the sofa wrapped in a duvet, clutching my hot water bottle. I was feeling a bit more human by the afternoon, so put the zip in the dress. It was easier than expected, although not quite a perfect job. It's a good job nonetheless, just definitely not a manufactured perfection. Is it just me, or does everyone else like hand-made things to look hand-made, with effort and not just manufactured as if it was shop bought? Didn't manage to do the hand-stitching or hemming though. Those are on the list for this afternoon/evening.
This morning I was having real trouble trying to get out of bed. Had to go catch a train to get a bulb for the sewing machine and a zip for a dress I will be mending for a friend from dancing. Of course, while I was in the material shop I had to buy some more material. Well, you have to really... I have another dance skirt in the planning stages in my head. Something a bit more flash than my last couple and all my own design. I just need to have the energy to get on, finish the dress, then make the skirt, and hopefully have it done by Thursday's dance class.
Today was going well. I got what I needed, bought what I wanted, then browsed in Markies food hall and picked up some bits and pieces for a late lunch with himself. I told him about said late lunch, thinking he might be pleased that I'm making some sort of effort. He seemed a bit nonplussed by the whole thing, and totally non-committal about whether he wanted fed or not when he gets home. I was sorely tempted just to throw the whole lot in the bin because I was just that disheartened by the reaction.
What is it I need to do to get an ounce of enthusiasm out of him?
I will say this though: He managed to take note of something I said recently. Sometimes I just need a hug. Sometimes a hug is all that's neccessary. A little understanding comfort rather than a fix or solution. I'm not expecting himself to have the answers to all of my problems, but it's nice to know that he's there and paying attention.
Let's get this straight though. Understanding hugs are not enthusiasm. It's a comfort thing. Enthusiasm would be asking questions about my dancing or dressmaking that require detailed responses with thought behind them, rather than "How's it going?" or "How was the dancing last night?" or even "How was your day?" which only really a require a "fine" answer for him to be satisfied. I get the feeling when he asks, it's out of duty rather than a quest to know what I've been sewing or if it's been difficult, easy, complicated, enjoyable, frustrating... The same with the dancing. I doubt he wants to know what moves I've learned, whether I've been asked to go to some of the Friday/Saturday night dances in N or M, or whether my dance friends have decreed that I must not cycle to the dancing at night because it's dark coming home through an estate that, let's face it, is a bit rough, although I've never had any bother at all.
Ah well... I need to get a hem taken up, a collar stitched down, bodice lining stitched in and an underskirt rehemmed to the right length as well as attaching a ribbon to the waistband. Got to have it all done by Wednesday too, so I have today, tomorrow and Monday to get it completed, although I really want to be making a skirt by tomorrow afternoon... Suppose I better get cracking really. I think I'm in the right frame of mind now...
It's been a lousy week really. It had its moments, but they passed swiftly and were overwhelmed by other things. Monday was interesting, because I went out with a friend S and his dog. We took a wander down by the river, then S, in his infinite wisdom, decided we were going to the beach, so off we went in his Landrover. We got most of the way there when his gears decided they weren't working. Fortunately there was a spot to pull into, which we did, and then had to strip out the top of a gearbox. Fun when I look back on it, but it was a warm, sunny day and we didn't have anything to eat or drink with us. We got it mostly put back together again, then decided to take the dog for another hike round the forrest park we were stopped on the edge of. After we got back from that, we finished puting the car back together, went for a very nice dinner, and by the time I got home, it was gone ten at night. Himself was predictably asleep by the time I got in the door. He's been on earlies this week, so in bed at a sensible hour most nights.
Tuesday I went to work. Wasn't feeling too great and by the time I got home, I was feeling decidedly icky, so no dancing for me. I spent the evening on the sofa watching nothing much really. Wednesday was OK, although still not feeling too great. Got home from work and did a fitting of the dress, which (shock, horror) fitted just fine. No alterations needed, so I could just sew the skirt straight onto the bodice, which I did. By the time that was done, I still wasn't feeling too great and the next job would have been puting the zip in. I decided to leave that till another time. Thursday was OK, although still feeling grotty. Went dancing, but didn't really make too much of an effort to get up and dance much in the freestyle bit. Got home and felt very tired, so went almost straight to bed. Unheard of for me really.
Yesterday I dragged myself out of bed feeling like hell. I got ready for work, thought about breakfast, considered the possibility of throwing it up again and decided to pass. Was on the brink of leaving for work when I decided it would be a very bad idea, and went and lay on the sofa wrapped in a duvet, clutching my hot water bottle. I was feeling a bit more human by the afternoon, so put the zip in the dress. It was easier than expected, although not quite a perfect job. It's a good job nonetheless, just definitely not a manufactured perfection. Is it just me, or does everyone else like hand-made things to look hand-made, with effort and not just manufactured as if it was shop bought? Didn't manage to do the hand-stitching or hemming though. Those are on the list for this afternoon/evening.
This morning I was having real trouble trying to get out of bed. Had to go catch a train to get a bulb for the sewing machine and a zip for a dress I will be mending for a friend from dancing. Of course, while I was in the material shop I had to buy some more material. Well, you have to really... I have another dance skirt in the planning stages in my head. Something a bit more flash than my last couple and all my own design. I just need to have the energy to get on, finish the dress, then make the skirt, and hopefully have it done by Thursday's dance class.
Today was going well. I got what I needed, bought what I wanted, then browsed in Markies food hall and picked up some bits and pieces for a late lunch with himself. I told him about said late lunch, thinking he might be pleased that I'm making some sort of effort. He seemed a bit nonplussed by the whole thing, and totally non-committal about whether he wanted fed or not when he gets home. I was sorely tempted just to throw the whole lot in the bin because I was just that disheartened by the reaction.
What is it I need to do to get an ounce of enthusiasm out of him?
I will say this though: He managed to take note of something I said recently. Sometimes I just need a hug. Sometimes a hug is all that's neccessary. A little understanding comfort rather than a fix or solution. I'm not expecting himself to have the answers to all of my problems, but it's nice to know that he's there and paying attention.
Let's get this straight though. Understanding hugs are not enthusiasm. It's a comfort thing. Enthusiasm would be asking questions about my dancing or dressmaking that require detailed responses with thought behind them, rather than "How's it going?" or "How was the dancing last night?" or even "How was your day?" which only really a require a "fine" answer for him to be satisfied. I get the feeling when he asks, it's out of duty rather than a quest to know what I've been sewing or if it's been difficult, easy, complicated, enjoyable, frustrating... The same with the dancing. I doubt he wants to know what moves I've learned, whether I've been asked to go to some of the Friday/Saturday night dances in N or M, or whether my dance friends have decreed that I must not cycle to the dancing at night because it's dark coming home through an estate that, let's face it, is a bit rough, although I've never had any bother at all.
Ah well... I need to get a hem taken up, a collar stitched down, bodice lining stitched in and an underskirt rehemmed to the right length as well as attaching a ribbon to the waistband. Got to have it all done by Wednesday too, so I have today, tomorrow and Monday to get it completed, although I really want to be making a skirt by tomorrow afternoon... Suppose I better get cracking really. I think I'm in the right frame of mind now...
posted by Me at 2:51 pm
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