And here's an update...
Well, I really hope this year isn't going to go on as it started. So far it's been a bit pants to be honest. It's had good points and bad points so far, but the bad ones seem to outweigh right now.
Let me see... Giving up smoking failed because I have the breaking strain of a soggy digestive. I at least managed to cut down to about 4 or 5 a day, which stops me being grouchy and has halved my normal. I'll cut down more as time goes on. I have enough trouble trying to keep cheerful with all the stuff going on without having withdrawal symptoms and taking it out on himself. Sorting out my sewing has failed because I haven't had the time with himself to get the house a bit more organised. You guessed it: He's been on nights again. That put a big slap on the house cleaning too because I don't like to be doing noisy stuff like hoovering or rummaging around while he's trying to get his eight hours in. As for the rest of it, well I already blogged about that bit. Not impressed with the health service in the slightest.
I'm sort of in a lull at the moment. My body hates me (for those playing catch-up, I've been having a period for the last three and a half months. It just decided to get heavier again. I'm drained), my phone doesn't work (they're coming to fix that tomorrow I hope), and I'm really in a quandry about what to do as far as the fertility treatment goes. Do I just call it quits and go ahead with the hysterectomy as planned? Do I fight my corner and maybe get into a legal battle that could cost a lot of money if I don't win? If I do go that route, would it shorten the length of time before they do anything? And if they do, will they just do a three-day transfer with the IVF which has a much lower chance of success than the blast transfer (5 or 6 days after fertilisation) that would give more hope, just so they can say they did it but it failed?
I'm trying to be happy and cheerful and I can mostly manage it, especially at work, because I'm so busy I don't have time to think about stuff too much. At home it's a bit more difficult. I spend time on my own, which leads to brooding about stuff and getting morose. I'm also suffering from lack of sleep. Himself has a cold and he kept coughing last night. It's not his fault, and I don't blame him. It's just one of those things. I'll probably get it and then cough all night too, keeping myself awake. Everyone has the cold at the moment, so it's not like I'm going to avoid it.
I've been trying to keep everything at home light and nice, but himself has got so used to me being grouchy, I don't think he knows how to take the cheery-self that I've tried to become. My jokes fall flat because he sometimes doesn't realise that I'm joking... It will take time, but I think it will get better at least in that respect. It would be nice to have some time to sit and talk, but past chats have been strained, and I think we both go into them expecting the worst, so say very little. Getting time to talk is hard as well, but I hope that can be managed at some point...
Good news time: Himself had an interview and he said it went well, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him. It's a sideways step, but it's Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 with occasional shiftwork if required. It would be better for him, because then he's not having to get used to being awake all night, then up at the crack of dawn to do 11 hour early turns, then onto more nights, then lates, back onto nights, more nights... His body clock doesn't know if it's coming or going right now. A little stability would be a good thing. It won't hurt having him home more often either, and perhaps we can get some of the stuff done that we want to, like redecorating and getting things shifted around to make more space in the house and somewhere for me to work and him to potter with his tools or to make his model vehicles.
Ah well... We won't know for a few days at least, but I'm hopeful. Things can only get better... I hope...
Let me see... Giving up smoking failed because I have the breaking strain of a soggy digestive. I at least managed to cut down to about 4 or 5 a day, which stops me being grouchy and has halved my normal. I'll cut down more as time goes on. I have enough trouble trying to keep cheerful with all the stuff going on without having withdrawal symptoms and taking it out on himself. Sorting out my sewing has failed because I haven't had the time with himself to get the house a bit more organised. You guessed it: He's been on nights again. That put a big slap on the house cleaning too because I don't like to be doing noisy stuff like hoovering or rummaging around while he's trying to get his eight hours in. As for the rest of it, well I already blogged about that bit. Not impressed with the health service in the slightest.
I'm sort of in a lull at the moment. My body hates me (for those playing catch-up, I've been having a period for the last three and a half months. It just decided to get heavier again. I'm drained), my phone doesn't work (they're coming to fix that tomorrow I hope), and I'm really in a quandry about what to do as far as the fertility treatment goes. Do I just call it quits and go ahead with the hysterectomy as planned? Do I fight my corner and maybe get into a legal battle that could cost a lot of money if I don't win? If I do go that route, would it shorten the length of time before they do anything? And if they do, will they just do a three-day transfer with the IVF which has a much lower chance of success than the blast transfer (5 or 6 days after fertilisation) that would give more hope, just so they can say they did it but it failed?
I'm trying to be happy and cheerful and I can mostly manage it, especially at work, because I'm so busy I don't have time to think about stuff too much. At home it's a bit more difficult. I spend time on my own, which leads to brooding about stuff and getting morose. I'm also suffering from lack of sleep. Himself has a cold and he kept coughing last night. It's not his fault, and I don't blame him. It's just one of those things. I'll probably get it and then cough all night too, keeping myself awake. Everyone has the cold at the moment, so it's not like I'm going to avoid it.
I've been trying to keep everything at home light and nice, but himself has got so used to me being grouchy, I don't think he knows how to take the cheery-self that I've tried to become. My jokes fall flat because he sometimes doesn't realise that I'm joking... It will take time, but I think it will get better at least in that respect. It would be nice to have some time to sit and talk, but past chats have been strained, and I think we both go into them expecting the worst, so say very little. Getting time to talk is hard as well, but I hope that can be managed at some point...
Good news time: Himself had an interview and he said it went well, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him. It's a sideways step, but it's Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 with occasional shiftwork if required. It would be better for him, because then he's not having to get used to being awake all night, then up at the crack of dawn to do 11 hour early turns, then onto more nights, then lates, back onto nights, more nights... His body clock doesn't know if it's coming or going right now. A little stability would be a good thing. It won't hurt having him home more often either, and perhaps we can get some of the stuff done that we want to, like redecorating and getting things shifted around to make more space in the house and somewhere for me to work and him to potter with his tools or to make his model vehicles.
Ah well... We won't know for a few days at least, but I'm hopeful. Things can only get better... I hope...
posted by Me at 10:06 pm
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